I was four years old. Not even in the First Grade, and although it was over 40 years ago, I remember it as though it was yesterday. My sister and I were in a gymnastics class (which at age four, I’m pretty sure is just learning how to fall without getting a shiner or scraping yourself). There I was, minding my own business when suddenly, out of nowhere this kid comes up to me and punches me in the stomach. Of course, since I remember it like it was yesterday, I can assure you that I did nothing to provoke this action. It was the first time, that I recall, where I could not inhale. I thought I was going to die. It was also the first time (and possibly one of the very few times if not the only time) that I ever hated a person immediately. To make matters worse, it appeared that my sister and my new enemy’s sister were suddenly the best of friends. Just great!
I have to admit, during the overnight routine, I have not been as actively involved as I was with Eli and Brenna. And by that, I mean the extent of my involvement has been that when ‘A2’ wakes up for his feedings, diaper changes and whatever general awakedness (yes, I just made that word up. My blog. My rules.) he sees fit at the time, I immediately spring into action by rolling over and putting a pillow over my head, leaving the work to Jessica. In other words, I’m a jerk. [Read more…]
There’s no real delicate way to write this post, but I’m going to try. Before I get into the experience, though, there are a few things that need to be established here:
- ‘A2’, the infant, is a boy
- ‘A2’, is an African American
- Boys have “boy parts”
- African Americans have brown skin, and
- (most importantly), I’m an idiot
One of the things I always tell future dads to be is that there is one thing NO ONE tells you, and it’s something I did not realize until after we had Eli.
I used to get somewhat upset when people would talk about the mother/child bond which pre-dates the actual birth of the child. I remember, during Jessica’s pregnancy, how amazing it felt when the baby kicked. How cool it was when it was moving around. We got our own little doppler to listen to the baby’s heartbeat. Granted, with Eli, there was the added concern because Jessica had had so many miscarriages. I spoke to the tummy daily and did what I could to bond with the baby before he was born. I did the same with Brenna. But it just wasn’t the same. And I felt that I was missing something or, more specifically, that there was something wrong with me. [Read more…]
I’m not going to go into a long rant or anything since I’m working on getting to bed prior to midnight on a fairly regular basis but here’s the latest:
‘A’ has had a sour attitude for the last three days. When he gets this way, he shuts down and looks for anyway to hide that he can. This can include anything from hiding out somewhere in the house to zipping his coat or hoodie up over his face so no one can see him. Today, I told him that if he wants to be part of the family, he can choose to talk about his issues with us or I will send him to be alone where he has no form of stimulation (sort of solitary confinement). The main reason I do this is because I know he’s pulling this in order to *get* attention. By sending him where there is no one, there is no one for him to put on a show for which makes his dramatics pointless. By the end of the talk, we worked through some things and we’ll see if it has had much of an impact. I suspect we’ll go through several of these before he learns that he can trust us and that we’re going to be around. [Read more…]
I am pretty much the first to admit that I think I’m superhuman most of the time. Of course, somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I realize I’m not but I tend to ignore all that. Today was one of those days where the reality that I am not became apparent. I’ll try to explain.
When we decided to take on the challenge of bringing three more kids into the house, we knew that after some adjustment, there would be a point where reality set in with each one of the kids and they would have to process it in their own way. We knew that when it happened, it would be a tough thing to deal with and we knew that it would be pretty emotional. Frankly, I had hoped that these realities would set in with each one of the kids on a different day, at a different time, and that it would (in my own ideal world, of course) also all occur at a time when both Jessica and I were in the same room to work through it with the kids. She is actually much better at talking to the kids to make them feel better, despite her tough-love “suck it up, buttercup” exterior. [Read more…]
It started October 6, 2014. Ok – maybe it started sometime last school year. In reality, it’s probably been a progression that led to this. . .
Before I get into the story, I should probably give a little bit of context. Jessica and I both work at home. My office is directly above hers. Because we both make it a point to have a daily work routine/discipline, the truth is, we don’t actually TALK much throughout the day. That’s not to say that we don’t communicate, but as most people in the tech industry would understand, we do it via chat. In our case, most of it is done through Facebook Chat.
It was your typical Monday. We had done our usual checking our emails, reading articles people post, sharing articles that are of mutual interest, etc . . . until 9:45. And then this:
“(Kid’s Mom) messaged me
she needs help with 3rd shift baby care for the boys because i guess she works 3rd shift now”
And with that, life changed. [Read more…]