By now, if you’ve read the blog for more than a week, you’ve no doubt picked up on the fact that I like to throw numbers around in my titles. Part of it is because I’m not that creative, but the other part is so that, when I go back and look at our experiences, I can be reminded of the things we did (and hopefully accomplished). [Read more…]
I often tell people that, as parents, we’re pretty lucky in this day and age. While we have to deal with a lot of new things, I think that we’re lucky enough to live in a time where we are allowed to relate to our kids and they with us. No longer is all music of the devil (a lot of it might be crap but it’s not of the devil) and we’re allowed to be wrong. Kids are encouraged to fail and get back up again and parents are allowed to say that they don’t know the answers to things. [Read more…]
Today I had an epiphany. Between Jessica and I, I tend to be the cynical one. I don’t mean cynical in that I have no hope for humanity or that I have a general distrust for people. I mean cynical in that I tend to look at simple things and react negatively to them. A perfect example of this would be things associated with the Positive Thinking movement. It’s hard to explain because, overall, I think most people would tell you that I’m a positive thinker. I’m confident, I believe in myself, and I push others to believe in themselves. But there are things associated with positive thinking that I’ve had a hard time embracing; particularly, things like daily affirmations and signs with catchy positive phrases on them. In fact, one of my favorite websites many years ago was a site that had signs with the beautiful pictures on it with a statement, except instead of a positive statement, it would be something negative (funny, but negative). A perfect example that I recall was a photo of a snowflake and the caption read, [Read more…]
People who know me outside of WordPress know that I’m passionate about WordPress and, more specifically, its community. Those who know me from within WordPress know that I’m passionate about my family; so much so, that I’m sure that if you were ask anyone within the WordPress world who has known me for longer than five minutes, they’d tell you that it’s hard to get me to talk about anything else. Yup. It’s no secret that I love my family.
We’ve all heard it: “As long as you love your kids, they’ll know it. That’s all they need.”
I call B.S.
One thing I’ve seen in the past year and a half of caring for children that are biologically related to another family is that you can love your kids and still be a totally crappy parent.
OK. I admit it. I’m struggling a bit. Let me explain.
A couple days ago I read an article written for “The Good Men Project” entitled, “Please Stop Calling My Child ‘Little Man’.” The article is written by a lesbian woman (is that redundant? I think it is) who is married with a child; what we would traditionally call a boy. One of the points (and what I took to be the main point) she made was that while he is statistically and biologically a boy based on things like boy parts, he’s not a man yet and while statistically, he is likely to grow to be a man, we should not put unneeded pressures such as that on a child. She worded it far better and I’m sure that she’s put far more thought into it than I have since reading the article.
Yesterday, when I was sitting with you during our weekly lunch at your school, you asked me when you’d be old enough to play Grand Theft Auto. When I did not give you an exact age, you seemed a bit disappointed. I know you’re a goals person and you set your sites on goals and deadlines unlike any kid I’ve ever seen. You like to know when something is going to happen and you like to plan for it (as much as a 10 year old can). It’s definitely a trait you’ve picked up from your mom.
But sometimes, you’re not going to get the “when you’re X-Age” answer from me. It’s not because I don’t want to. It’s because there are a lot of factors that go into these things that have nothing to do with age.
Before Christmas this year, Jessica and I knew that it would be the last one for Eli. That one where he’d believe in Christmas the way an innocent little boy does, where everything is magical and the need to make everything truly explainable doesn’t exist. He was simply putting too much together throughout this last year but Jessica and I held on to that hope that we could squeak one more Christmas out before we’d have to have “The talk.” We knew that if Eli asked us flat out, it’d be time. We’ve always prided ourselves with being totally honest with our kids but we’ve always made just the one exception for the magic that is Santa and Christmas. We had always explained that the important thing was the spirit of hope, love, giving, and the connection that Santa and Christmas causes us to feel and how it’s a reminder to focus on the good in this world after what is typically a year with lots of downs. So, while we always did that, we also tied it to the jolly man with the elves.
Did you know that nationwide, there are only twenty professional hatters? This was something I filed under “Things I Learned” last December when I was preparing for my trip to Philadelphia. Only twenty. [Read more…]
Ok, there are more than two types. We’re humans, and it’s a pretty diverse group of people that choose to be foster parents. We all have the common bond that motivates us; the desire to help children; to give them a good, safe place where they can thrive and be who they are. We all want the best for the kids, no doubt about it. But how we go doing that is different for us all. [Read more…]