I’ve been really busy lately. Between the house full of kids and the travel and the fact that, well, the snow is gone, I have not really made the time to post much. There’s a lot to write about and I do have some posts started but I thought that, since there are only 19 days left in our crowd funding campaign, I’d take a few minutes to thank those of you who have contributed. I’m going to do it individually, but all at the same time (if that makes sense). Because we appreciate each and every donation, no matter how big or small (we know that you gave or did what you could and that is, as they say, AMAZE-BALLS), I’m going to thank you all in order of the contributions but not list the contribution. Truly, every single penny (or dollar) helps! [Read more…]
This is an article written by a social worker and the tragic story of the foster child, “Steven” that she did not adopt. It blows my mind that in Milwaukee County alone, there are about 2,000 new fosters in the system according to the place we are going through to get our foster to adopt license. That’s a LOT of kids and a lot of potential “Stevens.”
Sometimes it feels like what we’re doing is amazing and then sometimes it feels as though what we’re doing is such a small drop in the bucket. Times like that, we think about this quote: “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”
What more is there to say? The boys did GREAT! While the results are not in yet, and we won’t find anything out “officially,” we all know that they passed. ‘A’ went into his testing a bit nervous, but once he got up there, he did everything with confidence. Eli was his typical self and got a bit worked up ahead of time but calmed down by the time he had to start as well. In *my* opinion, both of them were the best in their groups of testing. BUT, I have to say that I really only had the camera on each one of them so really didn’t notice anyone else. Probably wouldn’t have noticed anyone else, anyway.
Today, ‘A’ and Eli have Taekwondo testing. Eli will be going for his Green Belt and ‘A’ (or as I now call him, Big ‘A’) will be testing for his Camouflage Belt. This is fairly significant because after the last testing we were not sure if ‘A’ would be staying in Taekwondo.
Well, folks, the time has come. We’ve tried to look at things from just about every angle and it boils down to this: we need your help.
We’re not thrilled about the fact that we have to ask for help but really feel that this is a “takes a village” sort of thing. And to that end, we’ve created a crowd funding campaign to help us fund the renovations that need to be done in the attic to give the kids some permanent living space. Our goal is to build it out to be a four bedroom, two bath expansion.
Currently, we are registered with an agency and going through the training to go through a foster to adopt process so that we can take in an additional three or more children. We have the room to handle it in this house but we simply don’t have “the rooms” to do it.
So, with that said, please go to the crowd fund campaign we’ve started and if you’re so moved, feel free to contribute. We know there are about a million other good causes out there, too, so it may be tough but know that every cent contributed will go to the expansion and to benefit the kids.
Attic Construction Fund
Want to pitch in to help us build out the attic? Construction is currently underway to add four bedrooms and two baths so that we can take in another set of siblings (either three or four kids). Sibling groups are the hardest to place and we are passionate about keeping these groups together when the parental rights have been terminated with their biological parents. Adding these rooms will bring our house to a total of 11 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms.
The total estimate for this project is $140,000 and we have already paid for all but about $20,000. The project is now slated to be completed by Mid-November assuming there are no more delays. Through our Tilt Campaign, you have already donated about $7,800.00 (THANKS!).
Sorry folks. This one is a slight bit of a rant. I’m sure it is going to rub some of you the wrong way, and for that, I apologize. But I need to write about something we’ve been experiencing and find a bit frustrating.
‘A’ is ten years old. As it is, he has always had some anger issues that he’s had to deal with. From his point of view, the only real emotion that is acceptable is anger because anger does not show weakness. I get it. Don’t like it but I get it. We have been working with him for some time time on this by showing him that a range of emotions is acceptable and teaching him that he will be much happier once he learns to be in touch with all of his emotions. And that yes, anger IS an emotion and it’s totally allowable if channeled correctly (also that we all can do better on channeling it in the right ways).
One of the Benzakein family traditions, since Eli was barely old enough to do so, has been to have frequent impromptu dance parties before bed. In the early days, it was Eli in the basement of the old house, just running around in circles and as he got older, he would throw in an occasional break-dance move. It seems that we would go through stages where these parties are several times a week to once every couple of weeks, depending on our schedules, how we’re feeling and general moods.
When Brenna came along, it was twice the fun. She loves music and loves to dance, although many times what she *really* just wants is for her old man to pick her up and spin her in circles. I’m usually happy to oblige until I get tired or dizzy, or both. And I should really point out that getting tired or dizzy usually happens before a single song is over.
Adding the three new kids has not changed the tradition. Both ‘A’ and ‘N’ love to bust a move or two and it’s always a lot of fun when everyone gets involved. Being the one with the fewest moves (and by fewest, I mean that I have somewhere between negative 1 and negative 3 legitimate dance moves), I usually “dance” with the baby while Jessica does her thing with the kids.
The other night, when ‘J’ was over, we had another dance party and she got into it with the rest of ’em. We had a house full of kids dancing, with the exception of Eli who was off playing Minecraft with his cousin who lives in Washington (an aside here: how cool is it that cousins in completely different parts of the country can talk and play with each other every night? Sometimes I really appreciate technology!).
The cutest thing, though, was when ‘N’ and ‘J’ held hands and slow danced with each other. You can tell they have a genuine affection for each other. It’s always fun to see the kids together and appreciate the moments when everyone is getting along, because we all know that it can all turn on a dime!
Some days, our lives start to feel like one of those word math problems that everyone loves in elementary school. You know, the ones that generally go something like this: “You’re the bus driver. At stop A, you take on five kids. Stop B, you take one on. Stop C you drop off two kids, Stop D is three kids and then at Stop C, you pick up two kids, Stop D you drop off one, Stop E you drop off one. Question: What color is the hair of the bus driver?”
Such is the way things are shaping up. Last night, as I mentioned, ‘J’ spent the night. Fact of the matter is that the little girl is starting to win me over a bit. She was really in good form yesterday and quite charming and cute as well! She interacted with me quite a bit (something she has not done much of in the past) and we had fun together. We had a dance party before bed time and with only one small incident where she stepped on Brenna, the hitting and kicking that she’s been known to do in the past were non-existent.
When she crossed a line, there was no battle of wills for her to apologize and she even went to bed and to sleep somewhat on schedule.
‘A2’ woke up at about 2:00 or so and, as my head cold seems to have tried to make a rebound, I had taken a double-dose of NyQuil before going to bed, waiting until about 12:30 AM for it to kick in (I did not want to wake anyone up with a coughing fit). This left me super groggy when the baby decided that he did not want to go to sleep, but none the less, I was able to reluctantly (as Jessica will attest) take him downstairs where I sat with him and caught the latest episode of “Suits.”
This morning, Eli had his first run-through on stage-crew for the school play. Sounds like he’s going to be doing lighting which he is totally excited about. Jessica ran him to the practice at 8:00. Then, at 9:00 ‘A’ had to be there since he is in the play and they had rehearsal. Jessica then had a meeting with the moms to talk about costuming for ‘A’. Then she came home, took ‘J’, ‘N’ and ‘A2’ to see their mother, came back in time to get Brenna and herself ready for a wedding they’re going to (CONGRATULATIONS ASHLEY!). By 1:00 they were out of the house for that.
At 1:30, I am picking up Eli and ‘A’ from practice, will be driving ‘A’ to see his mother and then Eli and I will have a couple of hours before he is to go roller skating with a friend of his. I think at that point, I may have an hour of “me” time before Jessica gets home with Brenna.
Have you been following the math? In case you haven’t, here’s the answer:
I have mentioned that typically, on the weekends, the boys go over to their mom’s to stay. This, on one hand, breaks the routine, but on the other hand, it does give us a little break. In our ideal world, the kids would never leave because we do believe that they need consistency and stability in their lives. However, the one condition of the guardianship was that we allow for “reasonable” visitation. What constitutes “reasonable” is, of course, subject to interpretation.